From cooking to friendships, who knows...

Got the thoughts under control - went for a long walk with my dogs.

So a little more history...

I love to cook - especially for others. However, I haven't always been good at it and after a friend asked
"Did your mother do all the cooking growing up?"
"No, why?"
"Well, you have to try really hard at this don't you?"

Well, needless to say, I gave up cooking for a year. So I did my research, started paying attention to cooking shows, and reamerged a better cook. In addition, I have planted a large garden this year (my 3rd year in a row)and alas, nothing is ready except the herbs. I was inspired to go meatless for dinner as a health experiment and see what happens if I cut meat out of one meal a day. I'm definately not able to make vegetarian, but committed to try to consume less. Made a combo of penne pasta, peas, carrots, olive oil (of which I am becoming a snob about), and fresh herbs from my garden (basil, oregeno, & lemon thyme). I truly enjoy cooking for myself and at times find it very relaxing. I even have certain movies that I watch when I'm undertaking a true meal (chocolate, como agua para chocolate) But the process of making the meal got me thinking that I miss an old ritual that some college buddies and I began randomly.

It started just getting together and watching a movie or playing a game to save money on going out. It turned into "dinner & a movie" night that we rotated once a month (or so depending on schedules). At first the dinners were simple, but soon turned into themes - So I Married an Ax Murderer = shephards pie & fairy cakes & whiskey; Godfather = lasagna, breadsticks, wine & canoli & expresso; etc. Unfortunately since, we have moved away and are "too" far away for such monthly rituals.

I would like to start that again with my newer friends, but it seems harder to make those connections as you get older. You develop work friends or colleagues, but never take that next step to get to know each other on a more intimate level. It seemed so much easier as a child - or maybe that's just wishful thinking. Or maybe it's because we act differently at work than we really are. We are afraid to leave ourselves open to others fearing rejection, condemnation, or riducule.

I'm just tired of being unsure and apprehensive so I am just placing my friendship and invitations out there. If it gets accepted, GREAT, if not, what do I have to lose? I'll still have a fabulous dinner, even if I have to share it with my dogs.